Barry BroadRipple match review

Hey there Indy Reds! A new post two days in a row?! I know madness!
Today we have a guest post from a new American Soccer fan Barry BroadRipple recapping the LFC v Arsenal match.

Take it away B-man.

*Large Grain of Salt*


The Liver Poolbirds visited the London Soccer Cannons in a real important soccer game that was worth three team points if one soccer club was able to acquire more soccer ball goal insertions than the opponent in the time allotted by the game officials. The game took place on a Monday, a new English Pro Soccer invention called Monday Night Football that will surely become famous around the world and here in America.

The Soccer Cannons were missing a couple of their defenders that run about in the center of the defense and try to stop the opponent from placing the ball beyond the Soccer Cannons Helmeted Hand Soccer Guy and into the netting that surrounds the Rectangle of Emotion. But sadly the nets were not needed during the 90 minutes of soccer as the Liver Poolbirds did not place the ball into the desired area even one time. They did some good soccer attacks and had the London Cannon Fans wetting themselves on multiple occassions. They did real good soccer passes one after the other and some of them were real fast too. Some Liver Poolbirds fans that lived near the United Arab Emirates Stadium decided to come to the game sang lots of songs so their Mums at home could hear them. It was real neat.

Not long after the intial “Go Play Soccer” whistle, the short guy with a 10 on his shirt from Brazil, IN named Counting-Ho did a real nice ball dribble and then did a foot shot of the soccer ball. It banged off the white bar that forms the top edge of the Rectangle of Emotion and the Indy Reds yelled real loud at Jack Union Soccer Bar. This was at the beginning of the game and Jordan Green, his mates Erich, Zach, David and the new Miss Ginger LFC soccer fan (I don’t know yer name sorry luv) didn’t even have any of their shots of Tequila yet so the yelling after Counting-ho’s foot shot was very genuine and in no way alcohol induced other than the beers that had already been consumed by everyone there.
th-1 th

Niall was in his Chair Man Chair at Jack Union Soccer Bar and he did some soccer tweets about the foot shot that was close to going into the soccer goal.

The Liver Poolbirds regular captain player, Jordan Hendo, had a hurt body part and could not play in the soccer match. This made Dave real happy and he had a Stella or two. Jimmy Milner is the Vice President of the Team so he became boss for the day and told the players what to do on the soccer field.

Joey Gomez, the Poolbirds new left handed soccer defender guy, played some real good soccer all day long, preventing the Cannon players from doing much of anything in his area of the soccer field.

The game was not without controversy, however. One time, the Soccer Cannons thought they had placed the soccer ball into the Rectangle of Emotion. The ball did end up in the net beyond the guy that gets to use his hands for the Poolbirds but the Referee’s little brother said the Home Team soccer guys cheated while doing it. The Soccer Cannons coach did not throw his Instant Replay DVR Request Cloth even though the video replay of the goal was available and shown on the tele. It was a real close call. You had to draw a line on the tv right on Martin Shirtpull’s ass to see if the attacking player was on the on-side or on the off-side of the soccer attack. The few Soccer Cannon fans at the Jack Union Soccer Bar will be complaining about it all season.

After the real loud halfway there whistle, the players took a break and the Indy Reds all got a big smile on their faces the size of Peter Crouch’s inseam when Rebecca Lowe said hello to them on the television. Thousands of Liver Poolbird supporters from around the country wanted to be an Indy Red right then. Rebecca suggested that some of us had skipped work to come watch the Poolbirds and she was right. I heard that one guy quit his job just to be there for the game. Bryan was wearing slacks and a pair of fancy leather shoes and Eavan was all painted up something fierce. It’s highly likely many of the other Poolbird fans were skipping work too, but were wearing their regular Liver Poolbird shirts and hats and stuff. The lad from Wisconsin was both wearing his Poolbirds shirt AND working at the same time as he was seen placing the knives and forks into napkins for the next time the Poolbirds play a soccer game and the now famous Indy Reds want to come watch it while needing soccer utensils for their soccer food. Mr Jay did good by picking a Red to work there for him. Boback was there too but I forgot to tell him that the “T” on his Counting-ho shirt was coming off and he better take that shirt to a soccer shirt store real quick. It’s a real nice shirt.

The game ended with Nil soccer goals for both teams but was a very entertaining soccer game with lots of things to watch and to shout about. That damn Check guy Pete Check played some real good hand soccer, causing the Indy Reds to get pissed off. He was the Male of the Soccer Match.

Marty Shirtpull and DJ Lovren were both real shaky sometimes, but the Indy Reds have come to expect that in just about every game so that was no big deal when I thought about it after the soccer match. It’s gonna happen some more in the next soccer match, so you better be ready for it. The next Liver Poolbirds match is Saturday and it is against the Western Ham Soccer Team. Come out to Jack Union Pub, I’ll see you there.

Have a good day Indy Reds! Almost the weekend time. Don’t take life to serious today. 

See everyone Saturday 10am at Union Jack Pub for LFC v West Ham


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